Silas Gisiora Nyanchwani
Every time I am with my learned friends(as in anyone with a degree, not lawyers, necessarily), they come in two shades: those who believe that their education accords them privileges and rights over those who have less academic qualifications. And those who are humble because of the knowledge they possess.
I loathe the first group even though they make up the majority. Ride with them in a car, and they can’t let anyone cut him, they can be rude to waitresses, and if in a position of authority, they can be quite arrogant. Hanging out with them can be a pain in the neck. They are selfish, entitled and the world has to move around them.
The second group while not perfect, at the very least know that life is fleeting, we are here but for a short while, and nothing really matters. They are humble. Will drink their William Lawson in peace without judging the affected young men with mine bottles of Hennessy on the next table as if it is yogurt.
The second group take life as it comes. It doesn’t mean that they are less ambitious, or have no material needs. But they understand that material things are a means, not an end.
For the first group, it is hard to spend a minute with them the older you grow. Because, the stuff you outgrew years ago, still excites them. You don’t like judge them for their choices, maybe you judge, but you are at a point where it doesn’t matter.
The older I grow, I am humbled at how little I know. But I have tried to be as peaceful as possible. Because I have so many young people, some younger than me, with troubled hearts and it saddens me.
People carry such heavy and unnecessary loads, ten-year old grudges about something a friend or family member said, about something their boss ever did to them, about a colleague who gossiped them. Maybe these things mean much to them. But really they shouldn’t, beyond the annoyance they cause.
The older you grow, the more you learn that you need some people, and some people you can do without, because they add zero value to your life. You don’t need them, not because you are arrogant, but because every you meet them, you have a growing sense of anxiety that you are about to waste time and money, and the talk is the same, the vibe the same. But above all, there is a way the people(the first lot) make you feel. Like you are worthless. Like you don’t know a thing. Like they are the wisest, and know everything.
One thing I admire or used to admire about life in the village, most men, even the poorest were noble. We had this uncles, who in their mud-walled houses, serving nothing but sugarless uji, would regale with good tales and life-altering wisdom. They rarely left their children anything, often nothing but values. And when I meet their children, they are upright and admirable in every way, even with their modest income and all.
Because, a life without values, is a life without breaks. And the educated fools, have no breaks. They do silly things and when the consequences catch up with them, they wonder how they tripped.
A few things on the go.
1. Very few will be impressed with your personal achievements. Unless you are a politician, keep it to yourself as much as possible. Remember, however important you think you are, as long as you don’t feed people, they do have other obligations than to polish your ego.
2. Every adult has issues he or she is dealing with. Often, try and solve your problems on your own as much as possible, seek help where necessary and from the right people.
3. Find peace. Drop unnecessary baggage, bad memories, people who hurt you, grudges and all. Focus ahead.
4. Family. Family. Family. It is all you have. But if they are too toxic(and toxic people do come from family), stay away, but find balance on how to deal with them.
5. Lower your expectations about people. Don’t hate people or be cynical. Just be a bit pragmatic. Few people improve in the course of their lives. And you can only improve if you find God. Find Him.
6. Age will catch up with you sooner than you think. A few years ago, I had cousins who were like four years younger and they used to be such kids, I would dismiss them. But today they are 30, with inescapable adulthood responsibilities.
7. Adulthood is as confusing as teenage hood. Often you are stagnant. Often you moving at dizzying speeds. Sometimes you crash. Sometimes life crashes you. Don’t take it too personally, or spend time in the bar, wondering why me! Crap is bound to happen. Develop a resilient nerve.
8. Don’t allow anyone to make you angry. Hate Citizen’s 10/10? Flip the channel. Hate Pastor Ng’ang’a, skip any video about him. Hate stuff some people post, there is a blocking feature on all your social media accounts. This does not mean that you only live with things that conform to your beliefs, which admittedly, can be narrow. It is OK to be friends, even if it means on social media, with people who hold different beliefs.
For instance, I found alcoholics to be more accommodating, less judgmental than Christians. But maybe, Christians, at least true ones make me uncomfortable because they will tell me the truth and that is why I don’t want to hang out with them…Just think. And ask yourself ‘WHY?’
Because ‘WHY?’ is life’s big question. There are no easy answers. Just be conscious always and let WHY he the side mirror of your life.
NB: when we write stuff like this, there are those who instantly think that, ‘maybe he is going through a phase, someone hurt him’…or ‘he is addressing someone.’
I am not by any chance. This is a post inspired by the rain and insomnia. Period.